You’re A Good Mommy

What a sweet sassy little girl we have in Colette. I feel our time with her, and just her, slipping away much more quickly than I would like. I was browsing Pinterest last night and happened across someones pin that broke down which week of pregnancy belongs in which month. I am currently in the middle of month six. MONTH SIX?! Part of me thinks that’s a joke. I have all summer right? Summers are long, hot and slow. Another part of me hits that panic button.

I will be so sad and so happy to see Colette become a big sister. Sad because the selfish part of me wants to keep her an only child forever. She’s so sweet and her little personality just blossoms exponentially everyday. I’m having a hard time coping with the idea that my attention will be very heavily divide when Rosalie arrives. On the other hand, after what I assume will be a not so graceful transition period into a family of four, we’ll find a rhythm that works for us and be able to give attention when and were it’s needed.

For now, I really just want to bask in the rays of sunshine and joy that being a parent to only one child has to offer. I want to remember everything about Colette from this period of time. The pitter patter of her little feet running from her room to our in the morning to get us out of bed. Her happy dances. The way she sings in bed when she wakes up. Her insistence for just “2 minutes” more of play time before bed. The way she wraps her arms around me so tightly, grits her teeth, and says, “You’re a good mommy.” I’m not sure I’ll get too much of that when Rosalie gets here. At least not for a while.

I’m currently reading Waiting for Birdy, by Catherine Newman. It’s a book written from Catherine’s perspective about going from parents of one to parents of two. It seemed pretty relevant to my situation, so I thought, why not. I’m not quite to the parts I want to read about, like “How does one deal with all these feelings,” but I’m hoping it’s in there somewhere.

Our nanny generally works 3 days a week out of our house, where I work my full time job. So on those three days, I’m with little Coco all day in some capacity. This week, since the nanny is on vacation, Colette is hanging out with Grama every day this week. When Grama watches her we generally eat dinner there as well, so when all was said and done tonight, Colette decided she didn’t want to have anything to do with going home with us. I think Cory and I both left with our feelings a little hurt, but realistically, it’s was 30 minutes from bedtime, Cory needed to mow the yard, and I needed to sit and not move (“rest my pelvis”) for a while. And she’s only 3 miles away. Cory and I have a much harder time letting her stay overnight than Colette does. I’m sure she’d stay 5 out of 7 nights a week if we’d allow it.

So tonight I’ll miss checking on her in the monitor, miss her little foot steps in the morning, and miss her running around the house while I run sales reports tomorrow. But I know that her gaining some of that independence from us is better for her in the long run.

Okay, I’ll just go cry in bed now. *Waaah*

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